


Spot of Flour

by Notsohappycamper



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Awkward confrontation of feelings, M/M, bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-11 06:47:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4425455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notsohappycamper/pseuds/Notsohappycamper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two bros bake for a pretty girl and have some feelings along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“So... You got all the stuff?”

Tanaka looks absolutely insulted by the question.

“Of course I do! I’m a man of my word!”

Hundreds of kilometers away, across countless towns and roads and moonlit backyards, Yamamoto fidgets in front of his computer screen and nods.

There’s no time difference between them; where the moon shines into Yamamoto’s bedroom at 10:00 pm, it shines the same into Tanaka’s, and that makes the Nekoma player feel just a little bit more connected to his long-distance friend despite all the kilometers between them.

“Kay...”

Tanaka bristles in his webcam. “Are you getting cold feet on me, city boy??” He leans in closer to his laptop, squinting his eyes and furrowing his eyebrows. “Are you leaving your bro to brave this fate alone?! Noya already bailed on us, you doin’ the same?!”

Yamamoto doesn’t back down a bit from the familiar intimidation approach. Never has. He puts on his best tough guy face in return and squints back at Tanaka. “Huh..? Who the hell do you take me for, country hick?”

Loud laughter immediately filters through his computer and lingers in his room as Tanaka leans away and tilts his head back briefly to laugh towards his ceiling. Yamamoto can’t help but grin, as he props his chin into his hand and waits for his friend to calm down.

“Alright!!” Tanaka yells, looking back down and slamming his two fists together. He does this all the time on the rare occasions they talk on Skype, Yamamoto notices, probably because a bro-fist is impossible between them, so a self bro-fist is the next best thing. He mimics Tanaka this time and does it as well, still smiling.

“So, The Plan is the same,” the crow tells the cat, “We meet up before the match, get it all done, and present it to her... after the match? Or before?? What do you think, Tora?”

Yamamoto’s smile falls as he seriously ponders about The Plan. 

The Plan, in this case, is the ambitious idea of baking a batch of loving and delicious cupcakes for the goddess Kiyoko-san to present to her at yet another Battle at the Garbage Heap. Yamamoto was the one who came up with the idea and shared it with Tanaka through text a week or so before the trip was scheduled to take place. He figured it might help him with talking to girls at Nekoma if he practiced on Kiyoko-san and had something as a gift to give him an excuse to approach her. Of course, Tanaka jumped a kilometer at the opportunity to help.

A quick word with his coach and team members about how they should arrive about two hours before they normally would so they can hang out as a team and relax in Miyagi was enthusiastically embraced by Coach Nekomata, who wanted to talk (and mostly brag) to Coach Ukai, and by other boys fired up for the match. Kenma and a few others who didn’t care either way just shrugged and went along with it.

“I don’t know...” Yamamoto murmurs, noticing that, in his time thinking, Tanaka’s eyes have slowly drifted across his screen and now focus on the left half, most likely having opened a new window to browse in while he waited for an answer. He’s thankful for Tanaka’s lack of attention, as he feels a bit of warmth rush to his face from thoughts of confronting, even speaking to, Kiyoko. “If... If we don’t do it before the match, then I’ll just be thinking about it and thinking about her and I won’t be able to focus and then I’ll mess up and then there’s no way I could...!!”

When Tanaka’s eyes flit to him, he tilts his head down and looks at his keyboard in embarrassment. “It’s okay, Tora,” Tanaka starts, his voice deadly serious. Yamamoto dares to peek back up to his computer screen. “I understand how distracting Kiyoko-san can be sometimes... Getting it over before the match will be a huge relief, you’ll see. I mean, she’ll probably ignore us. But it’s still so worth it.”

Yamamoto nods sagely in agreement to the age old truth. It was still so totally worth it.

*

His hands grip the strap of his backpack tight almost the entire time on their train ride to the northern town as he stares out of the window and silently listens to the rest of the team making idle conversation.

It feels like his heart is going to explode inside his chest at the mere thought of arriving in the Miyagi Prefecture. Well, not so much explode as there is this constant dull ache, like his arteries are swollen and are taking up too much space in his chest. It makes him smile, though. It makes him happy.

He thinks about meeting up with Ryuu to bake for Kiyoko-san and it makes him happy.

“Oi!”

Yamamoto nearly jumps out of his skin at the loud voice in his ear. He flinches, and the backpack on his lap slips off and falls onto his shoes with a light thud.

Kuroo grins lazily from beside him. “What’s gotten into you? Nervous?”

The wing spiker frowns as he leans over to collect his bag and settle it on his lap again. “Course not. We’re gonna hand them their own asses, just like last time!”

As Yamamoto glares out the window and clenches his fist in determination, Kuroo just eyes him and tilts his head. “Is that all you’ve been thinking about so quietly over here?”

Yamamoto’s angry front falls. Dammit, Kuroo is persistent...

“Well. There’s also their cute managers,” he admits, lowering his fist and looking down at his bag as he feels heat rise to his cheeks.

He catches Kuroo’s exasperated expression out of the corner of his eye. “Really? Are you hoping for a date or something?” he asks, immediately scoffing afterwards.

Yamamoto is slightly offended that the idea of him getting a date is so laughable to his captain. “N-no! I could never talk to either of them alone.” His hands fiddle with his backpack strap, tightening it and untightening it with anxiety.

“Hmm,” Kuroo hums, sporting a grin again. His eyes scan over Yamamoto for a few more seconds, unnerving him, before glancing back to the other players sitting in front of them. “Well, just don’t let your heart affect your playing, loverboy.”

The captain pats his shoulder once before scooting back up to slide into his seat beside Kenma and stretch one of his long legs out into the aisle.

Yamamoto tries to relax. He honestly does. But every time his mind wanders back to The Plan, his heart swells without fail, his legs get jittery, and he just can’t keep a nervous smile from his lips.

*

Lev approaches him soon after they leave the train station and group up on a nearby street corner. Coach Nekomata warns everyone of meeting up an hour before the match in front of the gymnasium to warm up before he heads off in a beeline towards the Karasuno gym, a fire burning in his eyes and a taunt brimming on his lips.

“Hey, Yamamoto-senpai! Want to come with us to get some ice cream?” Lev asks, smiling down at him.

Yaku, Kuroo, and Kenma are standing a ways off; Yaku on his phone and Kenma hammering away on his PSP. Kuroo is staring in his direction with a hand on his hip from beside Kenma. The rest of the team has taken off in a separate group to most likely get snacks somewhere else.

“Uh.. No thanks,” Yamamoto says, apologetically, tearing his eyes away from Kuroo. One hand goes to the fuzzy blond stripe of hair on the back of his head in sheepishness as he looks back to Lev. “I’m actually going to go meet up with Ryuu. Er, Tanaka. I’ll see you guys back at warm-up.”

Lev’s eyebrows raise in surprise, understandably, before a grin creeps onto his face and he nods. “Really? Ah, getting in some extra spiking practice, I see. Well, I don’t blame you. With a guy like me going up against you for the title of Ace, you’ll need all the practice you can get, senpai!”

Yamamoto’s eye twitches in irritation. “...What did you say, beanpole.”

“Anyway, good luck with the private training!”

He watches Lev jog over to the other guys and give him a small wave before they turn to walk away in a group. Kuroo glances back at him once more before the small group turns a corner and continues on.

It takes Yamamoto quite some time to realize that he is standing alone on a foreign street in a foreign town. Everything is silent around him after the guys leave, their voices fading to softness and eventually dissolving completely into the lull of the surrounding neighborhood. Even Kenma’s fighting game can no longer be heard.

There are a couple low houses down the street to his right, and he can see the corner of a small shop a few blocks ahead. A glance behind him reveals nothing but more houses and a lot of grass lining the street. A single car turns a corner and slowly takes off in the opposite direction.

He hears birds chirp in a tree nearby, and a few green leaves are gently blown across the street as the world settles around him.

It’s so peaceful. 

It’s so calm.

It’s so... creepy!

Sure, it’s not much different from Tokyo suburbs, but still! It’s much quieter.

As he wonders how people can live in this quiet place and not lose their minds, he wrestles his phone out of his jacket pocket and frantically sends Tanaka a text.

[10:04 AM] ‘HEY!! we’re here.’

It must be the scariness of the quiet block or the nervousness that comes from being alone in a foreign place, but he starts to get jittery all over again, his chest getting all weird and his hands sweating. A nervous excitement makes him bounce from side to side on his feet.

Luckily, he receives a text back within the minute.

[10:04 AM] ‘COOL get over here, bro! Go go go!’

Yamamoto stills, closes his eyes, and sighs. Just sighs.

[10:05 AM] ‘you need to gimme your address first, idiot!’

A minute passes.

[10:06 AM] ‘Oh yeah... Whoops haha’

The address he’s given is entered into his phone’s GPS app, and he takes off walking.

Two knocks on the door are all it takes before it’s thrown open, and Ryuu is standing right in front of him wearing the biggest grin he’s ever seen. Tanaka throws open the door, then he throws open his arms.

“Dude!!!”

Yamamoto rushes forward immediately, infected by happiness, stepping into the doorway as Tanaka backs up a bit to give him room to get inside and meeting his friend halfway with a tight hug. It seems all the nervousness he felt while walking over here just melts away instantly.

They don’t pull away a half-second later. They don’t try to pat each other with one arm and make it seem like its just a “bro hug between guys”. They missed each other, and they both know that. And it’s so nice to just be in the same room with a good friend again.

Yamamoto had almost forgotten that they were about the exact same height, until his head fits over Tanaka’s shoulder perfectly, and he feels the other’s chin rest lightly on his own.

“You made it safely, punk! I thought you would get lost and I’d have to put out a police search,” Tanaka laughs loudly past his shoulder.

“I’m not so dumb that I can’t find a simple address!” Yamamoto cries back, offended. “Plus, it’s not so easy to get lost out here when everything’s simple and boring!”

He’s still smiling, though, and still locked in a hug with Ryuu.

Tanaka pulls away first eventually, leaning back, but keeps his hands on Yamamoto’s shoulders and stares into his eyes, getting a serious expression on.

“Tora, though. Are you ready. For the greatest task. That will ever be given to you in your entire life.”

Yamamoto almost flinches back, nervous jitters flooding in again and bringing with them that familiar dull chest ache. He averts his eyes and glances at the wall near the doorway, instead of looking into Tanaka’s face.

“O-Of course I am.”

“...Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

“...Are you positive?!”

“YES!”

As soon as the yell leaves him, Yamamoto slaps a hand over his mouth, remembering that he’s in a friend’s home in the middle of a quiet neighborhood and that there might be other people around. “Shit, sorry,” he mumbles out between his fingers.

This prompts a laughing fit from Tanaka that sounds twice as loud as Yamamoto’s yell had been. “Bwahaha! Do you think you need to be quiet here?!” He finally moves his hands away, rotating his right shoulder in a stretch as he steps back and allows Yamamoto to slip his shoes off at the door and set his bag down. “There’s no one here, anyway. My dad’s working, and my mom and sister are both out. Thank god.”

“Oh. Cool.” Yamamoto straightens and looks up just in time to catch Tanaka turn on his heel and slide down the hallway on his socks, leading the way. He’s wearing a plain white shirt and his black Karasuno uniform pants.

After thinking twice about it, Yamamoto turns around and also leaves his red Nekoma jacket on his bag by the door. He wouldn’t want to get anything messy on it if they’re going to be working in a kitchen.

“So, what do you do in this little town for fun, huh?”

Tanaka glances back at him as they enter the family room. “Hey! There’s... Well. Stuff. Volleyball.” He shrugs.

“Please,” Yamamoto scoffs, looking around the room as he follows. “Well, I don’t need to say anything. You’ve been to Tokyo; you know the score.”

“Huh!” Tanaka stops on the opposite side of the sofa, spins around, and glares. “You tryin’ to diss my hometown, bastard?? Punk???”

He crouches down and bobs with his fists up like they’re in a boxing ring, using the sofa as a barrier between them. Yamamoto begins circling with him, puffing out his chest and smirking as he bounces on his feet.

“I don’t need to diss your town, it does that all on its own!”

“Why you..!!” He snickers as Tanaka puts both his hands and one foot on the back of the sofa like he’s about to leap over. 

“Ow,” Yamamoto mutters when the bottom of his foot comes into contact with something hard on the floor.

Tanaka peeks over the sofa while he bends down to pick up a hard, plastic Playstation controller. “Oh...”

“Wow, how did that get down here?” Tanaka asks himself, actually jumping over the sofa this time and taking the foot hazard from Yamamoto’s slack hands. He settles down on the couch as the other rubs his victimized foot.

“Hey, what video games do you have?” the Nekoma player prods, intrigued by the controller’s appearance.

Tanaka looks up at him from where he’s sitting and tilts his chin back. “More like, what games do I not have,” he brags with an eyebrow wiggle.

When Yamamoto’s eyes light up like stars, he jumps to his feet, leaving the controller on the sofa cushion and shaking his head. “No! We mustn’t. You gotta focus, Tora. We’re here with a noble purpose, remember?”

Yamamoto’s gaze lingers on the game controller, thoughts of lazing around and playing video games with his bud for the few hours they have left taking over his mind and filling him with longing. For a moment, he seriously considers tossing Kiyoko to the wind completely and just spending his time devoted to him and Tanaka instead of her, but then Tanaka is grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the kitchen, rambling about keeping the place clean or something, and Yamamoto lets himself be dragged along for the ride.

He’s being ridiculous, he realizes, as Tanaka dances over to the cupboard to grab a bowl, a mixer, and the cupcake box. He’d be spending time with his bro regardless - he’s in his damn house, after all. There’s just something different about it. There’s something different in doing something for a girl than doing something for fun with a friend.

No, he’s being stupid! They’re still going to have fun doing this. He’s the one who came up with the whole idea, dammit. He just wonders why the thought of playing video games alone in Ryuu’s room threw him for such a big loop that it he made him want to forget about Kiyoko-san entirely.

“Oh, Yamamoto-kun! Thinking about me already? Teehee! Oh, you have a spot of flour on your cheek from baking, you silly fuzzy head! Let me get that for you!”

All thoughts rush out of his mind as Tanaka cups both his cheeks suddenly and begins leaning in with a kissy face. Panic seizes him and his hands dart out, pushing the other boy away as he turns his head to the side in safety, shutting his eyes tight “Ah- RYUU!”

The boisterous laughter barely makes itself recognized in his ears as he looks down and rubs his cheeks, stepping backwards until his lower back bumps against the counter and he can’t back away anymore.

“HAHAHA! Look at you! You’re even blushing as if she were really here. Heeheehee!”

Yamamoto grits his teeth and stares down as he rubs the palms of his hands on his thighs trying to will his foolish blush away. “Sh-shut up! Who wouldn’t blush if Kiyoko-san said such things to them?!”

He hears Tanaka stop giggling and hum thoughtfully in agreement, but he knows the words themselves have nothing to do with the blush nor the reaction. It was something else entirely. 

He has little time to mull it over in his mind, however, as Tanaka wraps an arm around his shoulders and pulls him away from the counter, still teasing him about not being able to keep it together and what that could mean for his future love life with actual girls.

Yamamoto stays silent as he’s led in front of their ingredients side by side with Tanaka, sparing a glance at his smiling face. Tanaka’s arm remains firmly around him even after they have stopped moving.

“Oi. Tora...”

Ryuu’s voice is soft beside him in the otherwise silent house. A smile still graces his face.

“I’m sure tons of girls like that about a guy.”

The Nekoma player blinks and looks away, reaching over to rip open the packet of cupcake mix and nearly press his face to the back of the box, pretending to read the instructions. “And what is that suppose to mean?”

He ducks out from under Tanaka’s arm, turns to the fridge in the corner, and opens it like the house is his own, looking hard for an egg carton.

“I mean, kinda shy guys. Guys that are nervous and blush a lot.”

The mere mention of his blushing brings a scowl to Yamamoto’s face in response. A part of him wishes Tanaka would just shut the hell up and get to work.

“Like the fact that you don’t know anything about romance and are virtually hopeless at it.”

His scowl dissolves into the universe and he almost drops an egg at the words that are thrown at his back as he deadpans. “That was actually offensive, you asshole...”

Tanaka continues as if he never spoke. “It’s just kind of. Like. Nice. It’s kind of. Desirable.”

His body freezes. Seconds pass. He hears Tanaka make a small noise of confusion behind him before the other boy’s arm reaches around him to pluck the egg from his right hand and the carton from his left.

He’s nudged to the left a bit by an arm before the fridge door is closed, and Tanaka turns back to the bowl on the counter to finish his work. He hears an egg crack.

“Wha-What!”

The Karasuno player glances casually over his shoulder as he empties the yolk into a large green bowl. “Huh?”

“Wh- You can’t just say things like that and then continue on like it’s nothing!” Yamamoto yells accusingly, pointing a finger at the other’s face and looking completely overwhelmed.

Tanaka’s eyebrows furrow immediately at the confrontation: an ingrained reaction. “Oh yeah? And why can’t I, punk??” He turns and tilts his head back. “This is my house we’re in. You wanna fight on my turf? Do ya?!”

For once, Yamamoto doesn’t know how to respond. So he doesn’t at all. He just lowers his hand and looks down.

Tanaka’s act slowly drops in the face of silence until he’s staring at Yamamoto with concern. He looks away as he tilts his head to one side, stretching the muscles in his neck before he speaks. “Okay. Sorry if what I said really affected you. But, I mean, what do I know? I’ve never had a girlfriend either, after all. Who knows what some girls like?”

Yamamoto bites his lip and steps around the other to get back to working on baking, though mostly to get away from the possibility of having to look Tanaka in the face. “Still... It’s not that. It’s...”

“Was it the ‘Oh Yamamoto-kun, you look so cute with that spot of flour on your-!’”

“No!!”

“Heh heh heh.”

Yamamoto begins mixing the ingredients in the bowl angrily to Tanaka’s chuckles. How does the other not get it, he wonders. How can he not see that what he just said was... He pauses stirring to think about it. What was what he just said?

“Oi, Tora.”

He spins back around with the spoon dangling in his hand, mentally exhausted from all these confusing distractions. “What?!”

Tanaka is holding up a bag of white chocolate chips and a bag of dark chocolate chips. They are wordlessly presented to him side by side.

He takes hold of the spoon in both hands and grips it tight like a shining talisman, lowering his head from the fluorescent lights, overcome with passion.

“You know. You know Kiyoko-san... That stunning flower of grace and refinement. You know she is the embodiment of rich dark chocolate!!”

Unlike when towns and roads and backyards set hundreds of kilometers between them, when Tanaka extends his fist, this time Yamamoto is close enough to punch it with his own.

“YES!”

*

“Shit.”

“Hm?”

“Warning text from Kuroo.”

“Damn. Yeah. I should probably be getting over to Karasuno pretty soon, too.”

“They’ve still got 5 minutes left, though.”

“Hmm... Watch ‘em while I run upstairs and get my stuff ready!”

“Yeah.”

Yamamoto hops off the counter and peeks into the oven before hopping back up and swinging his legs idly. He slides his passcode back into his phone and unpauses a driving game.

“Ready yet?”

“Nope. They still look kinda gooey.”

Tanaka hops back up to sit cross-legged beside him, leaning his head back against the wall cabinets.

They sit, as they have been while they’ve waited, up on the light gray counter top, side by side. They’re close; Tanaka’s knee presses against Yamamoto’s right thigh, brushing slightly every time the boy swings his legs and bangs his heels gently against the bottom of the counter.

They’ve waited silently for the most part, both occupied with their phones. There are occasional short conversations and occasional laughs over a funny picture shown to the other or a ridiculous comment made on a social media site, but otherwise, it’s a nice, soft silence. A comfortable silence.

Yamamoto rises once to use the restroom, and when he returns a minute later, he finds Tanaka the same as he left him, legs crossed, elbow propped on one of his knees and chin propped on the back of his hand, as the smell of chocolate begins to permeate the kitchen.

It throws him for a crazy loop for the second time that day: the image in front of him of Ryuu sitting cross-legged on the kitchen counter beside the oven, with his pant’s legs rolled up to his knees from the oven heat. His chin resting on his hand. His head cocked like Yamamoto is sure it is whenever Ryuu is in class and is barely listening. If he didn’t get enough sleep the night before from staying up late playing video games, or worrying about an important volleyball match, or waking up super early the day before for morning practice. His eyes half-lidded, and his head tilted like its made of gold and is too heavy for his neck to hold up.

He stands and stares.

Swallowing does nothing to the ache in his chest.

It’s just so different. Girls are cute and delicate like dolls, and sometimes they can be cool and hardcore, but even then they’re still cute in a way. There’s always something adorable about them. 

Yamamoto looks at Tanaka and sees nothing adorable. The other 2nd year isn’t cute or delicate in any way: he’s a 16 year old guy with a guy’s body and a guy’s face. Shaven head. No soft features. No graceful or elegant aspect to his movements. He’s just a dude, and he moves like a dude. Acts like a dude. Looks like a dude.

And yet, though there is nothing cute about him, there is something nice. There is something admirable and endearing. He’s paralyzingly nervous around girls, their wide eyes and gentle features, but he feels so comfortable around the other boy. He feels like, where he can say nothing to women, he can say anything to Ryuu, and if it’s awkward or embarrassing, they can just laugh about it later.

He realizes that the way he’s feeling now, the way he has felt the entire ride from Tokyo, is not about Kiyoko-san at all. Kiyoko doesn’t make him feel this way. She makes his cheeks burn and his heart thunder in his chest like he’s going to die in her presence, but the way he feels now, his heart slow and calm in a sea of that dull, swelling ache, his cheeks not burning at all, his body brimming steadily with nervous excitement. Kiyoko doesn’t do this to him. Thoughts of Ryuu do.

Tanaka looks up at him standing there, one eyebrow raising in question, and he finally forces his legs to move.

He settles back on the counter and picks his phone back up, but doesn’t turn it on. He flips its weight over and over in his hands.

“This was fun,” he says, quietly.

There is movement from the corner of his eye as Tanaka shifts out of his slumped position before he responds. “Hell yeah, it was. I should cook things more often.”

He tosses his phone into the air and catches it in the palm of his hand. “No, I mean. Like, just hanging out.”

The room is silent for a few seconds. His phone is tossed up into the air once more only to land in his lap as Tanaka’s arm suddenly wraps around his neck, catching him in a headlock, while his other hand rubs up and down his fuzzy mohawk.

“Don’t tell me you’re going soft on me, Taketora!!”

“God- damn- AH-!”

He manages to flail his way out of the hold, scrambling to catch the phone sliding off his lap and towards the floor at the last second, as Tanaka’s laughter floats in the air around him.

Feeling disgruntled and embarrassed for even bringing his feelings up in the first place, he sets his phone beside him safely and runs a hand through his hair a few times, smoothing it back down.

“I know what you mean, though.”

He blinks and turns to look at Ryuu smiling softly beside him. “I know what you mean.”

But does he really, he wonders. Panic starts to slowly overtake his body for some reason, like if he doesn’t say what he means now, he will never get a chance to in his entire life. It’s an anxious crawl that works its way all the way up to his throat, trying to force its way out of his mouth.

He parts his lips to say something, but Tanaka beats him to it. “I-”

“Five minutes! The cupcakes!”

They both leap off the counter, and he pushes down the lump in his throat as Tanaka pulls on a pair of flowered oven mitts.

*

“I can’t believe this!”

It was perfect. It was all perfect.

The cupcakes were baked to perfection, despite their distractions and catching them just a minute too late. They were then evenly and lovingly coated with a generous layer of pink frosting and a few dark chocolate chips to seal the deal. 

The boys took off with two plastic containers of them towards the gym, Tanaka stacking one on top of the other and sneaking them inside while Yamamoto regrouped with his team and listened to a small pep talk with the coach.

Nekoma entered, they said their greetings, and, true to The Plan, while everyone was warming up and having idle chatter before the first match, the two slipped away, grabbed their respective containers, and cornered Kiyoko when she returned with a bagful of water bottles.

“Kiyoko-san!” They shouted in unison, Yamamoto looking anywhere but at her face. “Please, accept these!”

She had taken a small step back, a light blush coming to her cheeks from surprise as she muttered out, “Oh... Thank you.”

Nishinoya stood not too far away weeping in happiness, and the two had almost collapsed on the spot from the sound of her sweet, angelic voice gracing their ears.

But just as she reached out with her free hand towards Yamamoto’s container, bathing him in eternal sunlight by choosing to take his cupcakes first, Takeda-sensei appeared with a smile and snatched the container up right before Kiyoko’s beautiful, delicate fingers.

“Wow, you guys made cupcakes? How thoughtful!”

He nabbed Tanaka’s container as well, and the final blow to them both was the image of him skipping back to the side of the court and setting the cupcakes between Yachi-san and Coach Ukai as Kiyoko turned her back and followed him away without another word.

Yachi, Takeda, and Ukai dug in while Kiyoko handed out water bottles to the Karasuno boys, Nishinoya now wept out of the shared despair of not getting to see Kiyoko eat a cute, pink cupcake, and the two wing spikers sank to their knees and lamented the days they were born.

They stayed there on the ground and radiated anguish until Daichi and Kuroo both yelled and threatened to start the first match without them.

“Well...” Tanaka offers him now, “At least Yachi-san looked cute eating them.”

The matches are over and done with, Nekoma winning true to tradition, and both boys are equally exhausted from turning their misery into pure rage and determination while playing. Yamamoto’s arm hurts from spiking so hard, and he doesn’t doubt that Ryuu’s does as well.

“True,” he timidly admits as he rubs his right bicep, glancing over to the other side of the court, where Yachi is talking with Hinata. “The fact that she ate some made up for a lot of my disappointment back there.”

When Yachi lets out a cute sneeze, he turns away frantically and pretends to fix his shoelaces.

Both teams start to clean up for the evening, as the sun sets and paints the sky orange. He catches Kuroo grinning at him more than once in the orange tint seeping through the windows. A lot more than once, actually. So much so that he jogs over to Kuroo and just stares him down.

“There, there. You’ll get her next time,” he hears Noya telling Ryuu somewhere nearby.

“I’m proud of you,” the scheming captain lilts out teasingly, meeting his gaze. “You played harder than I’ve ever seen you, I think. I told you not to play with your heart, but maybe that’s the ticket. Maybe we should get you rejected by girls before games more often.”

It takes him a second to recover from the deep blow before Kuroo is already walking away, snickering at his own joke like an old man.

“Excuse you!! I didn’t get rejected! I was just.. interrupted!”

He is only met with more snickers.

Angrily stomping in the opposite direction and into the storage room to calm down, he finds himself hit with a crazy dose of deja-vu when he sees that Tanaka is the only one standing in the dim light beyond the doors.

Wondering if he took a volley ball to the face in the middle of the 3rd match and got knocked out or if coincidence really found a way to make this happen again somehow, he steps up behind Tanaka’s back.

He considers walking quietly, maybe sneaking up and scaring the other boy or something just for the heck of it, but, for some reason, maybe it’s the lighting or the angle, all he can think about when he looks at Tanaka’s back, the number 5, the short hairs at the back of his neck, is him sitting up on that kitchen counter and looking sleepy all over again.

It brings an annoyed glare to his face as he narrows his eyes around the image and mentally warns it to buzz off. He ends up making a noise of both irritation and exhaustion in the back of his throat that makes Tanaka jump a kilometer in front of him as he clutches his chest, almost knocking over several mops and falling over.

“God, Tora, you bastard! Don’t sneak up on people like that unless you want a black eye!”

Yamamoto silently glares at him for a few seconds before he manages to mutter out, “Sorry.”

Silence envelops the small room, the clumsy noises of cleanup falling to the back of his mind as he takes deep breaths, glancing down to the floor before looking back up. Tanaka has turned around fully to face him, hands dropping to his sides. His eyes run over Yamamoto’s face, and he tilts his head almost in question.

“You have some flour on your face, Yamamoto-kun.” The words are soft and shallow, like testing hot water with one fingertip. He says it evenly, without the high-pitched impersonation of a female’s voice this time. He says it as Ryuu.

“Asshole... Stop it,” Tora grits out, sick of people teasing him. It seems people have been doing nothing but teasing him all day long since they came on this stupid trip. Stupid thoughts of stupid Ryuu have been teasing him since that stupid hug in the doorway.

“I’m serious,” Ryuu says. “Come here.”

Taketora doesn’t say anything about how he doesn’t sound serious. How he doesn’t sound sure of himself at all.

He steps close until he and Ryuu are face to face. Just about the exact same height, he notices again.

The other boy’s head is ducked a bit, though, and he’s looking up at something near his neck, at the collar of his red and black jersey he thinks.

“Is there something on my face then?” he asks. His voice sounds loud and echos off the sport’s equipment around them. It makes him want to wince.

Ryuu nods a few times without looking up and murmurs, much more quietly, “Come closer.”

Tora stares hard into his eyes. “I’m close enough,” he mumbles back, but he moves closer anyway. He can see the flecks of blue in Ryuu’s sharp eyes this close up. They both smell like sweat. The tip of his left shoe nudges Ryuu’s and makes him shift slightly. 

“Wipe it off,” Tora breathes.

He’s vaguely aware of how close they are, how he’s not even sure anymore exactly what they’re talking about, how he knows there is absolutely nothing on his cheek that needs to be wiped off. He’s much more aware of Ryuu’s light breaths puffing onto his face, and then on his lips when he finally looks up, blue eyes tracing a path from Tora’s collar, up his neck, along his cheek and past the imaginary flour, all the way up to his eyes.

Ryuu whispers something, light as a breeze. He feels rough fingertips against his wrist that grip and pull, but he has no idea what to do with his own hands, where they should go, what they should hold. It makes him so anxious that he pulls his arm back, sliding Ryuu’s hand down until it’s resting in his own. “I can’t,” Ryuu had whispered.

He doesn’t move anymore, and so Tora moves for him.

“Ah!”

Yamamoto spins around as fast as a bullet, and Tanaka is back over by the mops in the blink of an eye. 

Hinata is standing in the doorway, clutching a mop handle for dear life, eyes darting back and forward between the two of them.

“A-Are you guys about to fight for real??”

Thoughts race through Yamamoto’s mind, anger and disappointment and the realization that Hinata only had a view of them from behind, only being able to see Yamamoto’s back as he stood face to face with Tanaka. It must have looked like a stare down.

He watches Tanaka step forward and clench his fists, wondering how much is for show and how much is over the loss of feeling each others breath on their lips.

“You want some too, Hinata?! HUH???” He roars, following the poor 1st year as he cries out and turns to run, calling for Suga and dragging his mop behind him the whole way.

Amid all the yelling that ensues on the court, Yamamoto stands in the storage room, presses his index finger to his lips, and smiles. 

The ache in his chest melts into liquid sugar and spreads through his whole body.

Though having met each other within the year, Nekoma and Karasuno wave goodbye outside like they’re old friends, because, in a way, they are. The two coaches, old and young, leer each other down with polite smiles on their faces, and Kenma and Shouyou promise to text each other within the week to catch up. Nishinoya slaps Yaku on the back a little too hard, judging from his stumble and wince, and Daichi and Kuroo, after he’s made a teasing remark to Tsukishima, exchange deceitful smiles.

Yamamoto cries hand in hand with his dear friend, reluctantly pulls away, and walks backwards and waves until Nekoma rounds a corner and leaves the Karasuno team behind entirely.

Wiping his eyes and sniffling, he pulls out his phone and sends a quick text.

[7:43 PM] ‘GET YOUR VIDEO GAMES READY FOR NEXT TIME, HICK.’

Later, after he’s fallen asleep on the train ride home with his head against the window, his phone will vibrate three times, unnoticed, in his jacket pocket.

[8:28 PM] ‘OH YOU’RE ON, CITY BOY!’

[8:35 PM] ‘Have a safe ride home, Tora’

[8:38 PM] ‘Skype me again soon’


	2. Chapter 2

The train station is noisy and busy, like it always is, almost doubly so today, being that it’s a Sunday and students are free of school.

He always gets so sleepy when he takes the Shinkansen, whether its in the evening or the morning or the middle of the day. He always waddles off stretching and yawning, letting himself be pushed along by the rush of people around, which, normally, are his team members, but, today, are just other everyday people traveling to Miyagi. Students and the elderly and businessmen and families.

He bumps into a cute girl holding her boyfriend’s hand and stutters out an apology while the guy practically murders him with his gaze. One glance up from the girl, one look at his half-lidded eyes (from sleep, not from devious intent...) and his dyed mohawk, and she’s clinging to her boyfriend’s arm, stuttering out that it was her fault before quickly dragging him in the opposite direction.

Yamamoto just ducks his head and lets himself be pushed along by the crowd again.

He rushes to the nearest bus stop after he clears the crowd, looking back over the message sent weeks ago telling him Tanaka’s address.

It’s only when he is standing on the doorstep outside of his friend’s house that it really hits him. It makes him freeze, unable to knock, yet unable to turn away and run back to the bus stop in panic.

He and Tanaka. They kind of. Last time they met. Almost kissed.

...Right?

He runs a hand through his mohawk, trying to will his heart to calm down before his blood vessels burst and lead to his early death in the streets of Miyagi.

No, they didn’t. He imagined all that. They totally just hugged, except with hand holding and 1 centimeter between their lips. Really normal stuff. Friends do that all the time.

Right.

From deep in the mental pit he’s digging himself into, Yamamoto flinches horribly when the door in front of him is opened.

A young blonde woman in a tight tank top almost bumps into him, stopping to glance up at his face. Tanaka’s sister, if he’s remembering correctly. Saeko.

She blinks her sharp eyes and tilts her head slightly. Wow. She’s hot.

“Uh. I. Um-”

“Need somethin’?” she asks casually, cocking her hip.

“Ryuu...” he mumbles, looking over her head and into the open door. “I’m one of his fr-”

“Little brooooo!!!” Saeko sing-songs in a yell, looking over her shoulder and ignoring the rest of his sentence, “Someone’s here to seeee youuuu~!”

With that, she gives him a dashing smile and slips around him to bound down the pathway leading to the sidewalk.

Yamamoto stays where he is at the open door, polite and fidgety and perhaps even more nervous than when he showed up three weeks ago for the practice match.

Sure, he has a better idea of how he feels now and why he feels that way, but that, contrarily, makes things even more complicated and daunting. He’s had three weeks to think about it, three weeks to stew in between the daily texts and one more skype call that they had. Everything was normal and regular when they texted, all caps and joking, aside from a rare “sleep tight”, “have a good day”, or “miss ya” that sent blood rushing to his head. Even their skype call had gone relatively tame, ranting about school, volleyball, girls, until he and Tanaka exchanged “see you soon”, and then it hit him all over again.

Although he has a slight hint about the way he feels, it’s just a slight hint at the end of the day, and honestly frightening as hell. It drives him crazy wondering if Tanaka might feel something even remotely close, or if that almost-kiss was just in the spur of the moment.

He clicks his phone on and glances down at the time when he hears footsteps padding closer to give himself something to look at other than Tanaka.

“Yo.”

It’s almost anti-climactic compared to the crisis that his mind sculpted in the meantime. A short response as Tanaka approaches him with a faint smile and waves him inside. Gray sweatpants and a light blue tank top. Yamamoto can’t help but stare.

It’s not until he’s removed his shoes and jacket that Tanaka nudges him into a hug. It’s loose and lazy, but Yamamoto notices that the other’s arms go around his neck this time instead of his back. This time, he notices how Tanaka’s chest presses against his and how their cheeks brush. How lean Tanaka’s waist is, how solid.

How he’s sure he’s only seen girls hug guys around the neck like this in romance movies and couples posting pictures online.

Tanaka’s arms rest heavy on his shoulders and he lets out a deep sigh, the most of which Yamamoto feels on his jaw.

“Hey. Tired?” he asks, because neither of them have said a word, just standing and hugging silently in the doorway. The door is still open behind him.

Tanaka hums out a noise that sounds like he’s trying to snuggle into a pillow on a night of insomnia and just continues to cling to the other.

A smile crawls onto Yamamoto’s lips and stubbornly settles down, selfishly enjoying the state of Tanaka’s exhaustion. He dares to rub his hands up and down Tanaka’s back slowly, an intimate gesture that makes his heart race like it’s a wordless confession, but Tanaka says nothing of it.

On the contrary, he starts to teeter backwards, pulling Yamamoto down the hallway with him, and the other tries to kick a foot backwards towards the door, but sadly ends up missing. The smile fades from his lips as he’s forced to detach them from the embrace.

“The door, Ryuu,” he says offhandedly, looking back only long enough to nudge the door closed.

When he looks back, he’s met with a wide open mouth and a pair of bleary eyes.

“...Don’t yawn directly into my face, dude.”

Tanaka just scowls and reaches up to uselessly cover his mouth after the yawn is already over, turning and waddling down the hall, leading the way.

Tanaka’s mom is sitting cross-legged on the sofa this time, flipping through a magazine of tattoo designs, and Yamamoto stops to introduce himself and apologizes for the intrusion. The blonde woman just smiles and waves him off, doing a double take at his face and staring hard, probably taken aback that he looks rather similar to her son.

She offers him to stay for dinner but, when he tells her he’s taken a trip from Tokyo, her eyes light up and she offers to make a box of food for him to take back with him instead. Quickly realizing there will be no way to refuse the stubborn woman, he gratefully accepts and thanks her for the kindness, before he follows a slumping Tanaka up the stairs and into the second room on the right.

The room is messy and comfortable. A low table in the middle. Posters of bikini babes and bands on the wall. A low bed against the left wall, beside the window. A desk opposite the bed with a computer and TV next to it. Game consoles and controllers on the floor.

Tanaka steps over a magazine on the floor and plops down on the bed. There’s an open energy drink can on the bedside table along with several candy wrappers.

Yamamoto follows after closing the door halfway and sits beside him. If they’re too loud, he wouldn’t want the noise disturbing Tanaka’s mother, but he doesn’t want to close the door all the way and make his family think they’re doing drugs or something, so halfway is good enough, he supposes.

He looks into Tanaka’s dazed face. “Bro. Are you dying?”

“Maybe,” Tanaka sighs back, rubbing his eyes. “I stayed up way too late last night. I couldn’t sleep. Sorry, I knew you were coming and everything. I should have gotten enough sleep. I feel really shitty about it.”

Yamamoto scoffs, pushing himself to turn the TV and PS3 on, tossing a controller to Tanaka that lands on the bed beside him. “If you think I’m mad about you not being able to sleep, then you must not think very highly of me.”

Just as he sits back down on the bed, Tanaka surprises him by jumping up and running in place.

“Um.”

“Okay, c’mon! I’ll make it up to you, bro!” Tanaka cheers to himself, slapping his cheeks a few times and bouncing.

“Hey, don’t make too much noise.”

Yamamoto watches as he jogs two laps around his table before stopping in front of him and slapping his cheeks as well, making him flinch back.

“Hey!!”

“Okay,” Tanaka finally settles beside him again, with a bit more pep in his mood, “I’m ready to hang with you now.”

“Wait, you’re saying you weren’t ready to hang with me when you came to the door?”

“Hell no, I was napping then!”

“...”

*

“Are you going easy on me or somethin’?”

Yamamoto glances away from the death scene his character is going through on the screen.

“Huh?”

“You let me win, didn’t you?” Tanaka repeats.

It’s only been about an hour, and sunlight is still shining in brightly through the window. Some time while playing, they’ve both laid down on their stomachs with their bent legs against the wall. Both of their long arms stretch off the bed, backs of the controllers resting on the floor.

“Why would I do that? I was playing to win just like you were.”

“You just let me win!”

“I did not! Goddamn.”

The controller sounds much louder than it should to Yamamoto’s ears when Tanaka drops it to the floor. He half-heartedly whines about being careful with the electronics, but his eyes are glued to the other, his hands slack on his own controller. He understands that Tanaka is tired and might not have been ready for spending a day with him, but what the hell was he suppose to do about that? He was really looking forward to this...

“Okay, what’s wrong with you?! I thought you wanted me to come here to hang out! If you’re not having fun here, I might as well just go get back on the Shinkansen. Sorry I wasted so much of your Sunday already.”

The words are bitter and muttered in anger, but, after he says them, Yamamoto winces like he is the one being yelled at. He pushes himself from his stomach to his knees, leaning against the wall as Tanaka rolls over onto his back.

“Tora, no, just. I’m sorry. I just.. I feel like shit because I’m tired, and I know you came here like totally pumped, and I’m totally pumped too, but I was just thinking so much last night and kind of freaking out about it, like what the hell was I going to say to you and not freak you out because last time I just felt like. I. I don’t know!”

He’s thrown an arm over his face halfway through his rant, so Yamamoto doesn’t really know where to look. There’s a countdown on the TV screen under the word “Rematch”. He watches it go from 10 down to 0, and the game switches back to the title screen.

“I said I wasn’t mad at you, Ryuu,” he offers to the silence.

He gets no response.

“You don’t have to freak out about stuff. Last time... It was just. I mean.”

It wasn’t “just” anything, he screams to himself in his head. Shut up with this “just” stuff. Please. Say it.

Yamamoto bites his lip. “It was just something dumb that happened.”

He immediately wants to chop his own head off and spike it across the sea.

Tanaka shifts, peeking out at him, and it makes his heart hurt even more. “...Really? You’re not...?”

Yamamoto isn’t sure what the other half of that question was meant to be, but he’s already shaking his head regardless. “We’re cool. Why would I come here otherwise?”

He watches Tanaka toss his head back and sigh, stretching his arms up towards the ceiling and finally relaxing for the first time since they’ve met up.

“Idiot.”

It brings a grin to his face instead of a typical scowl when Tanaka pushes himself up and locks his arms around Yamamoto’s neck, pulling him down and rubbing his mohawk. “You think you have the right to call a sleepless, dying man rude things like that?? Huh?!”

He just quietly smiles against Tanaka’s shoulder, half lying on him, as the other gradually stops harassing him and just settles his arms around him in a hug.

Yes, laying on each other while hugging is exactly what friends do, Yamamoto sarcastically thinks to himself now. There’s no way Tanaka doesn’t realize how intimate this is. He hopes this can only mean that Tanaka didn’t believe it when he said what happened was just a dumb thing. That the words that got stuck in his throat somehow got picked up by Tanaka anyway.

Beneath his madly-beating heart and black shirt, the chest beneath his rises and falls steadily.

“Don’t you dare fall asleep on me,” he warns, pushing himself to his elbows so he can look down into his friend’s face.

Ryuu’s eyes are closed, but his face scrunches up when he hears the words. “I’m not,” he grumbles.

Yamamoto takes time to look over Tanaka’s features: his eyebrows, his eyelids, his nose, the slope of his jaw and the curve of his lips. His own lips part absentmindedly.

“We should go walk around so I really don’t fall asleep, ya know?”

He watches Tanaka’s lips form around every single word.

“...Tora?”

Yamamoto looks up to his eyes. “Hm? Oh, sure. Let’s go.”

As he pushes himself up and adjusts his shirt, waiting for Tanaka to get up, he lets out a deep sigh and wonders how he is possibly going to be able to get back on the Shinkansen and leave all of this behind at the end of the day.

*

Honestly, deep down, he feels sorry about it, but Yamamoto cannot help but laugh his ass off at the half-eaten popsicle now melting on the warm cement sidewalk.

Tanaka, on the other hand, is kneeling next to it, looking like a mother whose child was just hit by a car.

“Tora, please! Why would you laugh? This is a tragedy!”

Yamamoto has to lean over and clutch his stomach to keep himself together. “Well, maybe if you hadn’t- haha!- If you hadn’t been waving your arms around!”

“I was telling a story! Who doesn’t wave their arms when they tell stories!”

“People who know they’re holding something!” he laughs towards the ground, almost dropping his own popsicle.

Tanaka stands up with a defeated frown on his face, still staring down at the ruins of his delicious treat.

Yamamoto takes pity on his poor soul, suppressing his laughter, and throws an arm around Tanaka’s shoulders.

“Relax, man. We can go back if you want.”

He feels Tanaka’s shoulders slump under his weight. “No, it’s cool... I’ll suffer this loss.”

“Let’s just share mine,” he suggests, holding up his intact popsicle and letting Tanaka take the thin wooden stick from his hand.

“What flavor?” Tanaka asks, as he takes the popsicle and eyes it suspiciously.

“Peach.”

“Oh, c’mon, everyone knows soda is the best.”

“Hey, peach is good! It’s sweet.”

A smile graces Tanaka’s face. “Figures you would like something like this.”

He begins to walk over his fallen treat and continue on down the street while Yamamoto stays frozen where he is.

“What exactly are you implying by that, bastard?”

Tanaka rises to the challenge and turns back with a rather frightening intimidation face in response. “I mean you like sweet things. Asshole.”

That shuts Yamamoto up immediately.

He takes up his place beside Ryuu and watches as he takes a tentative lick before biting off a chunk to keep in his mouth. Then he passes the cold treat back to its owner, and Yamamoto does the same.

They walk aimlessly for a bit, passing the popsicle back and forth.

A group of cute girls cross the street in front of them, and Yamamoto’s eyes are drawn to them. He knows that Tanaka’s are as well.

“Ryuu?”

“Hm?” he hums back, distracted and munching on peach-flavored ice.

“Where do you think you’d take a girl on a date?”

Tanaka straightens himself and stands at attention like his answer could actually be the difference between getting a girlfriend or not. Yamamoto rolls his eyes and snatches the popsicle back.

“Well, you see, Tora. It depends on the girl really. Some girls like different things than other girls, I’d guess. I mean, Yachi-san and Kiyoko-san wouldn’t like similar dates, ya know?”

“I suppose...” he agrees thoughtfully. “What kind of date do you think you’d like?”

They were planning on taking a right at the next street corner, but a wordless agreement between them has them continuing on straight, trailing after the group of girls, half from interest and half from the sight of them bringing up pretty daydreams of actually having someone else to hold and hug and kiss. Yamamoto would like to think that he isn’t being a perv and looking at the girl’s bodies so much as he is looking at their existence and wondering what it would be like to be loved by one of them. Liked even. However, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t notice how cute they were in the process.

“Probably something normal,” Tanaka replies to his question after a pause. “Just hanging out or something. Nothin’ fancy or anything.”

Yamamoto hums in agreement again. “That does sound nice.”

They continue on in silence for a while. The popsicle is down to its last few bites. One of the girl’s skirts bounces cutely as she giggles and slaps her friend on the shoulder, dancing away from her.

“Ryuu?”

“Hmm?”

“Do think I’m like.. mean-looking?”

Tanaka’s eyebrows rise in surprise for a bit before he grins. “Hell yeah! You’re intimidating! I mean, you would never scare a guy like me, of course, but remember when you scared the shit out of Hinata when we first met? Hahaha!”

“Okay, yeah. But. Do you think... girls are scared of the way I look or something?” He takes the wooden stick offered to him and twirls it, fidgeting with it in his hands as he thinks back on the train station. That cute girl had just looked so surprised...

“No way!” Tanaka shouts, a little too loudly for their surroundings. One of the girls walking in front of them glances back. “Girls love bad boys. Plus, if anyone doesn’t like the way you look, you shouldn’t be dating them anyway.” He says his last sentence nodding enthusiastically like he’s so proud of his own advice.

“Wow, that’s uncharacteristically thoughtful of you to say.”

Tanaka bristles. “Hey! I’m capable of saying nice things sometimes, man.”

A car drives by, and the conversation quiets down. It’s a little less scary in the silent town when someone else is with him.

“I love the way you look.”

Yamamoto blinks, and his face grows warm. He looks away from the girls and to the last bite of popsicle held up for him, but doesn’t reach out to take it.

“I mean, it’s unique, right? You just look freakin’ cool, and I love that.”

Finally, he wordlessly takes the stick and holds on to it.

“Anyway, the way you look is a part of you, and, like I said, someone you date should like that part of you.”

He stops walking.

“But I’m sure loads of girls- ...Tora?”

Ryuu pauses and looks back at him. Yamamoto looks into his eyes until he just can’t bear to anymore and then looks down to the pavement instead. “You’re doing that thing again, Ryuu...”

“Huh?” He glances up again when Tanaka takes a step towards him and furrows his eyebrows. The girls round a corner behind him and disappear from sight.

Some guy walks around Yamamoto, eyeing Tanaka like he’s really the delinquent he dresses himself up to be. It makes Yamamoto sigh and grab his friend’s arm to drag him out of the center of the sidewalk and over to the side of the store they’re standing by.

“What’s up?” Tanaka asks. So casually. So natural. So unaware.

Yamamoto is tired of him not realizing.

“You just said you love something about me that should be important to the person I date,” he repeats slowly, sure that his face is turning as peach as the frozen treat in his hand.

He doesn’t know if Tanaka just really didn’t realize it, or if he was trying to slyly hint something without being caught, but when Yamamoto says it so openly, the casual look on his face morphs into that of a sheepish boy on his first date.

“Well, I mean, I was just saying,” he starts, rambling and looking away from the other’s face. He reaches up and snatches the popsicle, biting off the last piece and chewing it far too vigorously.

“What were you just saying?” Yamamoto pushes, feeling strangely driven.

It’s the same feeling he got when they were in the kitchen and something similar was on the tip of his tongue before Tanaka interrupted him. A feeling like this moment will just pass them by if he doesn’t do anything.

When Tanaka crunches on his popsicle and says nothing more, he gets it.

_“I feel like shit because I’m tired, and I know you came here like totally pumped, and I’m totally pumped too, but I was just thinking so much last night and kind of freaking out about it, like what the hell was I going to say to you and not freak you out because last time I just felt like. I. I don’t know!”_

_“and not freak you out”_

“I love the way you look, too!” Tora blurts out, immediately reddening afterwards. He makes a thousand prayers that he will suddenly be gifted the ability to melt into the ground and never have to emerge again.

Tanaka’s eyes widen, but a light smile betrays his feelings. “Thanks,” is all he murmurs in response, but Yamamoto sees the way his eyes soften and the way he leans in, and knows that what he meant was understood perfectly.

He wants to say something else, but Tanaka turns away suddenly to throw the popsicle into a trashcan on the street corner, and then they’re walking towards his home, just regular friends again. Just hanging out. Something normal. Nothing too fancy.

*

The sun is setting now, orange glowing in that small window by the bed, and Yamamoto hasn’t accomplished any of the things he wanted to do today. He still hasn’t told Tanaka straight up how he feels, and he still doesn’t know 100% how Tanaka feels in return. It’s like they’ve been doing nothing but dancing around each other all day long, and he’s even more confused than he was to begin with.

Especially now, when the sun is shining orange and pink and he should really be leaving within the hour. Especially now, when they are sitting cross-legged on Tanaka’s bed, facing each other and leaning close enough to listen to music on shared earbuds. He has the left, Tanaka has the right.

Sure, he doesn’t know how they got here, but he hopes whatever unspoken bond has been driving them, what made him come in the first place, doesn’t end anytime soon.

“You need to tell me when you talk to that girl. Like, text me immediately. On the spot. As soon as she turns around,” Tanaka rants to him over the sound of the music. It’s chill and slow, with a soft guitar and a strong drum beat, and it makes Yamamoto feel like this really has been a date like the one Tanaka described earlier. The perfect date.

“I can’t do that... That’d be weird,” he mumbles back, feeling warmth rush to his face over the thought of this whole trip being a date. What a freaking amazing date if it was.

Overcome with feelings and emboldened by the soft music in his ear, he reaches out and takes both of Tanaka’s hands in his own, pulling them from his lap and holding them between their legs.

Tanaka’s face melts into sunlight with that same faint smile he always gets whenever Yamamoto does something like this that makes himself blush. He’s almost jealous that Ryuu never embarrassingly blushes over it like he does; just smiles.

He starts fiddling with a thin silver ring on Tora’s right middle finger, spinning it round and round. Yamamoto wears it because he thinks, when he flips people off, it makes the gesture 20% more badass. “But you gotta,” Tanaka mutters.

“Why?” he asks. The slow song ends and another equally chill one begins. He didn’t know that Tanaka liked this kind of music.

“Because I said so,” the boy fiddling with the ring replies. He smirks and glances up before looking back down to their hands.

“But,” Yamamoto starts, eyes drawn to the golden sky outside the window. “What if I don’t want to talk to that girl?” Tanaka looks back up, and he continues. “What if I wanna talk to you?”

His heart feels like it’s going to combust into fire when Tanaka freezes, fingers lingering on his ring. “Then talk to me,” he says eventually.

Yamamoto refuses to meet his eyes. “And... What if I don’t want to hang out with her and want to hang out with you?”

He doesn’t have to look to know that Tanaka is smiling. “Then hang out with me.”

He’s leaning in closer, so Yamamoto can’t avoid looking at his eyes any longer. His voice quakes around his last few words. “And... what if I don’t want to kiss her... and... I want...”

Tanaka murmurs after he’s trailed off, unable to finish.

“Then kiss me.”

Time seems to freeze in that moment, as they stare at each other, wide-eyed and fragile in the delicate air around them. Yamamoto wants to move, tries to move. He parts his lips and ends up whispering horribly familiar words. “I can’t...”

Tanaka’s touched smile seems to spread through his entire body, the look on his face full of absolute endearment and admiration. When he reaches up, so slow and gentle, to cup Yamamoto’s face, the other almost flinches back out of pure fear.

Thumbs smooth over his cheeks, a kind of touch he’s never felt before, a kind of touch he used to only daydream about getting from someone one day.

He wants to make a joke about how their positions are reversed this time, how last time, in the dim light of the equipment room, it was him making the move and now it’s Tanaka. His lips part to say the words, but something soft and firm steals them away.

He closes his eyes tight, and his hands grip Tanaka’s wrists like he’s drowning. He feels like he is. He feels like he’s floating.

Desperation seizes him, and he leans forward, pressing harder, because he doesn’t know what he’s feeling but he wants to make Tanaka feel it too.

Based on the way that Tanaka lets out a deep sigh through his nose, he doesn’t have to try too hard.

It’s when his hands dare to slide up Tanaka’s arms to his biceps that he opens his eyes and pulls back. “O-okay...”

Tanaka honors his request and stays back, though the way he licks his lips makes Yamamoto think he wants to do otherwise. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Tora breathes, before he ducks his head and looks away.

Tanaka’s hands drop from his face to his shoulders. “....Did you get turned on?”

“Ryuu!!”

“I mean, it’s fine if you did. Like, I don’t blame you, I am pretty hot.”

“...”

“And I probably would have too if I had touched more of you. Kind of why I kept my hands on your face, heh. Man, you gotta take tips from the master here, Tora!”

“What is that even suppose to mean! You’re not anymore a master than I am!”

“Oh yeah? Who is the one with the boner here?”

“.............”

“Exactly.”

Yamamoto pushes himself to his feet and practically speed-walks to the door. “It’s not even a full- I’m not- Shut up!! I’m going to the bathroom to calm down and then die of embarrassment. Don’t bother to wait for me because I’ll be dead, you asshole.”

He hears Tanaka’s loud laughter from all the way down the hall and, though he truly does feel like he’s going to collapse from embarrassment, he can’t help but smile as well.

*

He swears the blush follows him all the way to the train station, though it may have less to do with what happened and more to do with the fact that Tanaka is holding his hand, fingers entwined with his own.

Yamamoto had protested and complained that everyone could see them. Tanaka just grinned and asked him “Why should we care?”.

And so here they are, boxed food in the nice cloth bag that Tanaka’s mother had given him in one of his hands and Tanaka’s hand in his other, standing outside the station under the still setting sun.

“I wish you could have stayed the night. How fun would that have been, man?” Tanaka laments, looking like a child that’s been told he’s too big for a stuffed teddy and has to let it go.

“I’ll be back next Sunday. Relax. You know you would have fallen asleep instantly anyway. How are you still even standing right now?”

“I don’t know. I just got less tired over time, I guess.” He reaches up with one free hand to stroke one of Yamamoto’s cheeks and wiggle his eyebrows. “I guess your beautiful face just kept me sustained all this time. Your soft lips breathed life back into me.”

Yamamoto just grimaces, ducking away from the hand. “You can’t woo me like I’m a chick or something...”

“What! I thought lines like that would work for sure!” Tanaka cries out, still seeking Yamamoto’s evading face. “How do you like peach popsicles and blush at hand holding and not swoon over a line like that!”

Yamamoto ducks, weaves, and pulls back, but the hand follows it all, groping for his cheek. “I’m not completely a girl, ya know! You can’t talk to me like I- Ryuu stop!”

“But I know you love cute things and blush at romance movies in your spare time!”

He finally captures the hand in his own after untangling his hand from Tanaka’s. “I’m serious. Don’t talk to me like that. It makes me feel like you’re treating me differently, and I don’t like it. It’s like you’re treating me like a girl or something.”

Tanaka’s smile drops, and he nods. “Okay, sorry. I don’t plan on treating you any differently, anyway. Like, you’re still my bro.”

It’s that line that makes Tora smile, because that’s exactly what he wants. He likes Ryuu because of the way they hang out, the things they do together, and the way Ryuu acts so relaxed about him. What would even be the point of dating if Ryuu became a completely different person around him and treated him differently? He loves how they can sit and talk about girls and video games and be great friends, and he loves that they can hold hands and kiss and say endearing things to each other, too. So why not have both combined?

At that moment, when Yamamoto thinks about it and realizes that he gets happy from thinking about both hanging out with Ryuu and going on a date with him, he realizes that he likes him. A LOT. He knows it way too soon for the other word, but goddamn, he can do anything with Ryuu, and it’s still special to him. They can even sit around in silence like they did in his kitchen that one time, and it’s still so special to him. He just likes him so freaking much.

“...You’re blushing again, and I’m not even touching you, man.”

“Shut up. I should go now. Try not to fail out of school before I have a chance to come back.”

“...Low blow, Tora. Low blow.”

He pulls Ryuu into a hug, wrapping his arms around his neck to show him how great it felt when he did it to Yamamoto earlier in the day. Ryuu practically melts against him, and he ends up blushing yet again. Dammit...

“You can still talk to that cute girl if you want. I’d understand, bro,” Tanaka whispers to him.

“I couldn’t even if I wanted to; you know that. And you can still tell Kiyoko that she’s beautiful everyday, because that’s not even flirting, it’s just a fact of life.”

“I gotcha covered.”

They stand and hug until Yamamoto virtually can’t stay a minute longer, receiving several frantic texts from his mother, so Tanaka takes his hand again and walks him into the train station.

He smiles and holds the hand in his firmly, not afraid and not worried, because he knows exactly how he feels, and it feels absolutely wonderful.


End file.
